Temptations

It is a powerful thing to feel beautiful in the eyes of a man.

A man has recently entered my life, and he has awoken something in me that I believe has long been dormant. I shall call him Mr. Mysterious, because he has not let me get to know much about him. He has been a harbinger of things both good and bad.

He is extremely handsome, and so kind and caring. He gave me the attention that I've been so deprived of - the attention and affection of a man. I was so stunned by even the hint of a thought that a man might still be attracted to me, even with all the weight I've gained since my marriage started failing. It still stuns me; I don't know what to think or how I'm feeling. I feel like this wall I built around me to protect myself has crumbled, and now I'm flooded with these thoughts and emotions and desires that I thought I'd successfully buried. What am I doing? What's going on? All of a sudden my head and heart are full of doubt, of questions, of desires, of temptations. What if…?

If Mr. Mysterious and his friend can find me attractive, perhaps some other man will as well. So that leaves me with a very important question - do I continue to wait for my husband, to wait for something from him that might never come, or do I move on? I thought that I had answered that question: yes, no matter if nothing ever changes I will still stay by my husband because I believe in the wonderful man I know is hiding beneath the exterior. But now... if it really is possible for a man to want to touch me, to want to kiss me, to desire me... well... that seems to have changed things.